The things we do for our friends
by Woodland Nymph
Summary: In order to rescue a member of the group, the Heroes attempt to break into Klink's office One Shot


Hogan stood outside barracks two watching for the right moment. All of his men were in place, as he knew they would be, waiting for his signal to start the distraction. Hogan couldn't help feeling worried though, sure they had broken into Klink's office without getting caught numerous times but this time would be different because they weren't just breaking in to look around for bits of information, no, they would be breaking a friend out, and that was definitely something that Klink would notice.

Hogan kept an eye on his men until Kinch came out of the barracks and stood next to him. Kinch had been on the coffee pot listening in to Klink's office.

"How's Carter?" Hogan asked

"Worried" Kinch replied, he looked over at Hogan and saw the uncertainty in his face "Klink's still in his office" Kinch informed him, "If we're going to do this, it needs to be now"

"You're right" Hogan made eye contact with Lebeau and shifted his cap to the side.

Lebeau had been pretending to clean up the yard for the last 10 minutes now waiting for Hogan's signal. Every now and then he emptied his bag of trash onto the ground and began to clean it up again. When Lebeau finally did see the signal he breathed out a sigh of relief and sprung into action.

" _Schultzy_ " he whispered. _Schultz_ turned around and saw Lebeau beckon him over, slowly he waddled over to the small Frenchman and lazily said "What is it Lebeau? Can't you see that I'm busy?"

"Sorry _Schultzy_ , but I need your help" he whispered "we're having a celebration and I'm running low on supplies, I need you to sneak me into the kitchen"

"No, no, no, no, no" Schultz said shaking his head "I cannot do that little cockroach, now get back to work."

"Aw come on Schultzy" He pleaded as Schultz continued to shake his head "I'm making a huge feast and I want to make a special batch just for you" Lebeau poked at Schultz's stomach and grinned at the large sergeant.

"F…for me?" Schultz shrugged and scrunched his fists excitedly "Well I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if we took a quick look around" Schultz looked over at his guards to make sure everything was quiet then motioned for Lebeau to follow him.

Once Schultz's back was turned Lebeau gave a quick salute to Olsen.

Olsen had gotten a group of prisoners together waiting for Lebeau's signal. Once Lebeau had gotten rid of Schultz it was up to them to distract the rest of the guards.

Olsen and his group were biding their time by to kicking a ball around when he caught Lebeau's salute. "Guys" he called out "that's the signal" Olsen nodded at one of the men and that same man rammed into Olsen slamming him into the ground.

"HEY! What was that for?" He yelled getting the attention of a few of the remaining guards.

 _"Not enough"_ Olsen thought as he got up, he rushed at the man that had pushed him to the ground and knocked him into one of the guards. As more guards began to notice the scene a cockney Englishman stood, cigarette in hand watching the scene unfold. One by one prisoner's from all over the camp charged in to help their fellow inmates, even Wilson, the camp medic got in on the act. When the last of the guards had joined Newkirk watched Kinch and Hogan run over, Kinch began to hold back Olsen while Hogan made sure none of the guards were too rough with any of his men.

"Take it easy, Take it easy" He heard Colonel Hogan order

 _'And now it's my turn'_ Newkirk thought as the camp erupted. He raced over to Klink's office and looked through the window; he was still sitting at his desk. Newkirk dug through his pockets and pulled out a smoke bomb that Carter had given him and tossed it through the window.

"FIRE" Newkirk yelled just to get the ball rolling

Inside Klink heard the word fire before he saw the smoke and almost jump out of his skin when he did see it

"FIRE! FIRE! MY OFFICE IS ON FIRE!" Newkirk heard Klink cry as he dashed out of his office

As Klink left Newkirk climbed through the window and set to work

"Come on luv" he said "You're alright now"

Outside Klink continued to yell. "FIRE! GUARDS WHERE ARE MY GUARDS"

"Are you alright sir?" one of the prisoners asked him, Klink turned around to see which one it was. It was the young one Carter.

"Yes, yes, yes" Klink said irritably waving Carter away "WHERE ARE MY GUARDS? He yelled again

"Um sir, your guards are round the back" at Klink's sudden glare he quickly added "a fight broke out between the prisoners, they're trying to break it up."

"A great time for you prisoners to start a riot" Klink mumbled "Right when my office is on fire, GUARDS" Klink stormed round to the back of the camp with Carter following close behind, when he saw the state his camp was in Klink's face turned scarlet. He scanned the scene for his sergeant however when Schultz couldn't be found he called for the next best thing. "Hogan"

Luckily Hogan was within earshot and happily jogged over to the fuming Kommandant.

"Hogan, what is going on here?" he demanded

"Just a lively debate sir" Hogan answered

Klink stared blankly at Hogan before asking "You call this a debate?"

"Well sure what do you call it?"

"Schultz" Klink began to call "Schultz!

In the Kitchen Schultz had been grabbing the ingredients that Lebeau picked out and was hiding them in his coat so they could sneak them back into the Barracks when he heard Klink call his name.

 _Schultz! Schultz!_

In a hurry Schultz grabbed what he thought was his rifle from the table and raced out of the kitchen. Schultz barrelled across the yard, he saw the fight between the prisoners and immediately realized why he was being called

"Do not worry Kommandant" he yelled "Do not worry, I will handle it" Schultz stood in front of the crowd and got ready to fire his rifle, only then did he realize that he had left his rifle in the kitchen and was holding a breadstick. Confused Schultz looked at the breadstick.

 _"Dummkopf"_ Schultz heard Klink say

"I'll be right back Kommandant" Schultz yelled as he turned to head back to the kitchen, but as he turned around he saw his little Frenchman running wildly across the yard carrying his rifle.

 _'What a good little fellow'_ he thought as Lebeau run up to him and handed his weapon

"Here you are Schultzy" Schultz thanked Lebeau and once again faced the crowd, However before he could do anything Hogan Yelled "LOOK OUT! GET DOWN!"

All the prisoners immediately stopped fighting and dropped to the ground "It's alright Schultz, just don't fire."

A surprised Schultz quickly regained his composure and lifted his head up high

"Alright prisoners, BACK to the Barracks"

"Aww come on Kommandant, you're being unreasonable" Hogan had been arguing with Klink for the past hour trying to lessen Carter's sentence. After Klink had discovered the break in he had ordered Shultz to take Carter to the Cooler.

"No, no, no, no, no Hogan" Klink yelled, storming up to Hogan and shaking a pair of socks in his face. "I know he was behind this"

"How? he was with you at the time" Hogan countered, "besides can you honestly see Carter arrange something like this?" Klink scoffed and sat back behind his desk.

Hogan smoothly walked over and lent on Klink's desk "Come on, what have you _really_ lost here?, I mean **_really_** " He asked calmly with a small glint in his eye.

Klink looked up a Hogan and sighed " ** _All this because I confiscated a rabbit_**?"

He watched as Hogan's not so subtle smirk turn into a huge grin. ' _Damn'_ he thought _'how does Hogan always know when I'm about to change my mind? I must have the worst poker face.'_

"Thank you Kommandant" Hogan said smugly as he happily pushed himself off Klink's desk. "I'll tell Schultz to release Carter"

"You do that Hogan" Klink sulked as Hogan made his way to the door. "But if I ever find that rabbit your man goes straight back in the cooler, is that clear Hogan?"

"Yes Kommandant" Hogan said as he closed the door behind him.

Klink sighed once more with the pair of socks still in his hand; Klink growled and threw them down on his desk.

"I'm sorry Colonel" Carter said as Hogan led him back to the barracks. "I only took her out of the tunnel for a few minutes so she could get some fresh air. I didn't know Klink was going to inspect the barracks while he thought everyone was outside."

"It's ok Carter, just be more careful next time" He told the younger man as they approached barracks two.

Hogan put his hand on the small of Carter back and gently pushed him through the door where Carter was met with a loud cheer from his team mates.

Newkirk came over to pat him on the back "Welcome back mate, didn't 'urt ya did they?"

Carter shook his head "No, just the cooler"

"Rotten thing to do over a missing rabbit, the lousy krauts" Lebeau spat

"Speaking of rabbits" Came a cheerful voice from the back of the room. Kinch was standing in a corner holding Hasenpfeffer in his arms.

"HASENPFEFFER" Carter cried "You're ok"

"Of cause she is" Hogan assured him "Newkirk got her out of her cage and snuck her back into the barracks just like I said he would"

"Too right, and I left a pair of socks in the cage as a replacement rabbit."

"Newkirk" Hogan chided slightly

"What? The socks were very convincing when me mate was explaining how to use a rabbit trap, I guess I didn't think Ol' Klinky would notice."

Newkirk ignored the groans that came from the barracks

 _Well that explains why Klink kept waving a pair of socks around_ , Hogan thought. "By the way 'the bald eagle' is still pretty upset so just keep Hasenpfeffer in the tunnel until all this blows over"

"Right boy - I mean sir" Carter said sheepishly as he cuddled Hasenpfeffer. "I'll go do that right now. I have to make her a new cage anyway after that mean ol' kraut stole yours, right Hasenpfeffer?"

There were a few chuckles as Carter went down the ladder and into the tunnel. Once he was safely down though Newkirk turned to the others and said "I still can't believe we postponed a mission from London just to rescue 'is ruddy pet"

Kinch smiled at Newkirk "Well, what are friends for?"


End file.
